Afterthought 03x04
by ArcadiaArden
Summary: Next in the Afterthought series - Immediately following 03x04 - come for a stroll through the streets of Boston, when words have little to do with what is actually said.


Rizzoli & Isles – I certainly don't own them. I give a lot of credit to the people that do and thank them for letting me mess about with them for a bit.

Next in the Afterthought series... same as the others... set post episode 04, my attempt to follow the same tone as the episode with a dose of rizzles but nothing M rated for now, but a fair warning to any new readers... pay attention please, if I spin off any of these one-shots or drop in another chapter it will be M rated. I will update the rating and try to put a warning.

* * *

The traffic outside the window had slowed and what pedestrians did wander by moved leisurely through the night. Maura glanced at her watch, it was just after 10:00 pm. Jane was quiet, her attention focused on table. Maura wondered what she was studying so intently. Her hands? The grain of the wood top? It didn't matter, the only relevance was the fact that Maura didn't know. With Jane that was unsettling. She was used to knowing what was going on in Jane's mind without having it explained. Even her presence here tonight had been something that she had a hard time deciphering what the objective was.

Passing Casey as he left, his expression subdued and almost poignant, had made Maura thankful she'd listened to Jane's request and came to the bar.

At first it felt unseemly that Jane wanted her to show up at the Dirty Robber during her reunion with Casey. Jane had cajoled and pleaded. At the end she was almost begging with a "Just in case I need backup." That was when Maura had understood. It was almost sophomoric in intention but human behavior often was. And this was Jane asking her to have her back. There was no other option but to agree and give Jane the nerve to meet Casey. At the very least it should put some of Jane's mental demons to rest.

Maura studied the way the light bounced off Jane's curls and shadowed her cheekbones. For someone so naturally beautiful and innately courageous, Jane's armor over her self confidence was startlingly thin. Right now it was tattered and tenuous, evident by the tear tracks that had left faint streaks through her makeup. Maura ran her fingertips lightly along the side of the table, feeling the small places where the shellac coating had chipped free. Looking across the table she knew Jane was watching her fingers glide along the edge.

If Jane would at least look up perhaps Maura would be able to tell if she was depressed over Casey as wounded friend, a romantic loss or a demise of what could have been. It didn't feel like the start of a love story, but how could you tell? Jane was a fighter. If she truly intended to create a relationship with Casey wouldn't she have fought to stand by him? Why would she agree to wait, suspended in the background? This was not the Jane Maura thought she knew. She picked up the wine glass in front of her and took a slow sip, the tannic undertones a compliment to the atmosphere. She waited but Jane didn't move, didn't look up, so she could see her eyes.

After they'd finished laughing about Angela's untimely demise and the note to Casey had been crumpled up and knocked aside, silence had slowly taken over. It wasn't uncomfortable but it wasn't simple. The atmosphere seemed congested and thick. In an effort to relax the solemnity, Maura decided get up and order herself a second glass of wine and Jane another beer, if only to confront the quiet for a moment. The bottle still sat in front of Jane untouched but it had the intended effect. Jane had looked at the drink when she set it down and as Maura took her seat again she fell under inspection. The examination was both unsettling and reassuring. Maura was never certain what exactly went through Jane's mind during these quiet moments of deliberate scrutiny. Early in their friendship the analysis had always resulted in a twisting internal vortex of anxiety and apprehension, but over time the sensation slowly morphed into something warm and familiar. It was just who Jane was, a natural observer of minutiae and hints that the casual observer overlooked.

In a way it made them a pair. Jane used body language to decipher what people were hiding, while she used similar tactics to understand spoken nuances that she would otherwise fail to interpret if she didn't observe the same.

Historically it had enriched their friendship. Words were often not required. A look, a glance, a touch could say so much more than the overlying dialogue.

But not lately, lately they'd been drowning in words, the conversations and repartee rolling over and obscuring the nonverbal subtlety that enriched their friendship. As Jane looked at her, Maura tried to catch her eye. After a second the brown eyes rolled towards her briefly but instead of staying, they slid closed and when they reopened Jane was watching the bar again.

And there it was. Shut out and closed off.

It wasn't just Jane either. Maura knew she was just as guilty. If you opened that part of yourself up it allowed the other person access in an uncontrolled, undefined manner. With everything changing so rapidly around her, Maura wasn't ready to have that avenue opened again. Only she was finding that the problem with shutting a part of herself off was the evitable reciprocation. Perhaps in an earlier time in her life, before Jane, this would not be as troubling.

However with Jane it was agonizing and it needed to change.

Maura sighed. Jane looked over at her and when she didn't immediately look away Maura could see everything and feel everything. It was overwhelming and took physical effort not to break the connection. Tension swirled in her chest and she could see it echoed back at her. The problem with nonverbal communication was the very definition. The very nature of its fluidity meant there wasn't a primary word defining the boundary of the expression.

Maura pushed her half finished glass of wine aside. "Come on, let's get out of here."

Jane watched as Maura slid out of the booth. "I didn't finish my drink."

Maura shrugged. "You never started it. You can't finish what you don't start." She headed towards the door, feeling the moment Jane was at her back.

Stepping into the din of the city, Jane tugged her jacket closed and pulled up the zipper, curling her chin into the collar.

Maura ran a hand along Jane's arm. "Are you cold? We don't have to go anywhere."

The light breeze blew stray curls of Maura's hair against her cheek, obscuring the left side of her face. Without thought Jane carefully tucked the strands back until she could see both hazel eyes. They were warm, accepting and dark in the low glow from the streetlight. "No, I'm fine. I don't want to go home. So where should we go?"

Maura looked to the left, the upward grade of the hill leading back towards the precinct and just beyond that home. To the right, away from both their homes, she could see the lights of Government Center and Haymarket. After that it was just the trip across the Greenway to the North End."Caffe Vittoria, they're open until midnight and I want gelato."

Jane cast a long look at Maura's shoes. "I know you're a professional at wearing those things, but that's a hike from here."

Maura wrapped and arm around Jane's. "I'll just have to lean on you then."

Jane gave a small snort as she started to walk. "I use common sense to wear practical shoes so I have to hold us both up?"

Maura hesitated a second, quickly trying to ascertain if Jane was simply teasing.

When Maura paused, just a heartbeat of a moment, Jane felt the melancholy of the night return. She pulled the arm Maura was holding tight against her body and brought her free hand over to cover Maura's hand. "Please stop. Whatever is running through that brain of yours, just stop. No matter what happens I will always be more than happy to support your choice in fashionable footwear."

The lump in her throat was hard to navigate so Maura didn't try. She didn't even understand why it was there. She let out a shaky exhale and let herself lean against Jane as they walked along.

Jane took a deep breath in. The night was unseasonably warm and the humidity of summer was still weeks away. The breeze brought the tang of the ocean inland and it was late enough that the city bustle was muted. Somewhere out there Casey was wrapped up in his own evening. She wondered what he thought about their meeting. Jane chewed her lip, watching her shoe step in time with Maura's refined heels. If there was one thing she could take from tonight, it would have to be the simple fact that there wasn't anything she could have done differently. Tomorrow would be soon enough deal with the fact that he didn't contact her or tell her was something wrong. There was a message in just that fact alone. Tonight she wasn't going to try to think about anything until the turmoil inside quieted.

She tipped her head back to watch the lights of the skyscrapers climb into the sky. Tomorrow she would also have to find out how her mother even knew about Casey's injuries. Glancing at Maura, Jane thought she knew, but for now she wanted to leave the question and the answer unspoken. She didn't need any more information but she did need the simple warmth against her side and the memory of Maura's authoritative tone stating Casey didn't deserve her. Her expression had been equally intense and protective. That was why she asked Maura to come tonight. If she had been shattered into a million pieces Maura was the only one she trusted to put her back together.

She wasn't shattered but she still needed Maura with her and again, tonight she wasn't going to question why.

The breeze was still playing havoc with Maura's hair and the errant curls alternately hid and revealed glimpses of her expression. Watching her, Jane tried to remember the last time she'd spent any time coaxing Maura into talking about her own life. Jane narrowed her eyes. There were certain truths Jane could always count on. Maura being the reigning queen of deflection was one of them. Jane realized she'd been too preoccupied to notice but she hadn't had a decent conversation with her for weeks. She let out a long sigh and tried to rally herself. She'd been too wrapped up in Casey and her own troubles that she hadn't even noticed full effect of the changes in the woman beside her. It was time to begin correcting that oversight.

Jane cleared her throat. "Maura, distract me. Tell me something new about yourself."

Hundreds of scattered fragments flash through her mind. Maura wet her lips as she tried to just pick one. Dennis was not new. What happened during their time together wasn't new. What she told him however was. Again she wondered what Jane would think. She involuntarily grasped Jane's arm tighter for a second, anxious at even the thought of damaging Jane's perception of her any further. She could admit that Angela's involvement concerning Casey was purely her fault. That would be new information.

It would also be information that would be poorly received. Maura watched Jane for few more steps. Not tonight. She'd have to tell Jane, but not right now. Tonight was not the time to start another disagreement.

The silence now pressurized around her. She had to pick something. "I am completely enamored with both fall line ups for Costello Tagliapietra and Donna Karan."

Jane started chuckling, somewhat relieved and then felt instantly guilty for feeling relieved. Maura's initial reaction indicated there was a lot going on behind those big hazel eyes. But as much as she wanted to hear everything, she had a feeling the details needed her full mental capacity. She made a mental note to force a lunch date tomorrow. "Of all the topics we should be talking about, you actually decided to try to distract me by using clothing?" She bumped their shoulders together. "You used to be smoother than that Dr. Isles. But you want to know what?" Maura looked up at her. "Tonight it's perfect."

Maura smiled a bit before ducking her head, Jane's focus on her had been razor sharp, in full detective mode. As tedious as tomorrow's interrogation would be, she felt instantly lighter. Whatever she couldn't figure out how to share Jane would somehow know it lingered, drag it out of her and support her through it. She loved that. She needed that. She missed it.

Jane felt a sense of purpose bolster her mood. "I'm glad you're enamored with the new Costello Tagliapietra and Donna Karan fall lines. You should also be impressed that I understood what you meant immediately."

Maura looked over at Jane until the brunette looked back. "You are impressive, Detective. I think tonight is the perfect time to remember that."

Jane felt the heat creep up her neck and was glad that the evening provided natural cover as she maneuvered around the compliment. "And I can't believe you used the word enamored with clothing."

Maura let out a deep chuckle. "I can't help it, the lines are classic."

"Dear god, you're classic and I think this proves I need to get you out more. Enamored is a word you use to describe people not clothing." Jane just shook her head and turned to meet bright hazel eyes that pulled her in and demanded her focus. Jane sucked in a deep breath at the strength but she made herself stay until she couldn't hold back her grin.

Maura instantly mirrored Jane's expression, reveling in the contact.

The smile they shared weighted the space between them. Nether looked away as the moment wound around them, intensifying until the tension shattered into laughter.

Catching her breath, Jane pushed her free hand against her mouth. "What are we laughing about?"

Maura brought her free arm against her stomach to rub a small muscle cramp. "I don't know and for once I don't think I care to know."

As they passed the Haymarket T station the low foot traffic indicated it was later than Jane realized. "Are you sure you still want to get ice cream? It must be almost 11:00. It's colder over here too now that we're near the water."

Maura gave a light shrug. "Gelato, not ice cream and it doesn't matter to me. I just wasn't ready to head back home and the walk sounded nice." Glancing sheepishly up at Jane, she paused to hold a foot up. "Can we go sit on the Harborwalk instead of heading right back? My feet need to rest." She lightly pinched Jane's arm under her hand. "Not a word Rizzoli."

They crossed into Columbus Park before Jane let out a long, dramatic, sigh. "You do realize it is killing me not to make a comment about your shoes?"

"Well that would be an interesting cause of death for the autopsy report." Maura could hear the water surging against the boardwalk as they approached. "Though I'm sure Dr. Pike would have a different conclusion."

Crossing the park, Jane frowned. "You'd let that clown cut into me?"

Maura chuckled. "Consider yourself warned. If you do anything to end up on my morgue table that I decide is imprudent, I'm calling in Pike on special assignment. Death by repressed sarcasm counts."

Jane sat down on bench facing the water, pulling Maura down with her. Charlestown glowed across the harbor. A ship's horn vibrated through the night, signaling its departure from Black Falcon Terminal. "What kind of a friend turns their LLBFF over to Pike?"

"The type that wants to make sure said friend is mindful with her safety." Maura realized she could release Jane's arm. She probably should release Jane's arm. With a sigh she loosened her hold and shifted away a bit, giving Jane her space. "The type that wants to make sure that friend is always around."

"You are annoying. How am I supposed to argue against that?" Jane reached over and pulled Maura back against her. "It's cold, I liked where you were before. It was warmer." Watching a cruise ship glide its way out of the harbor, Jane relaxed against the back of the wooden bench and started humming.

Maura listened to the rhythm carefully. "Whatever is that tune?"

Jane laughed "The theme to The Love Boat."

Maura sat up suddenly. "The what?"

Jane smiled. "Of course you don't know. I'm not even surprised anymore." She tugged Maura back. "I don't even want to know what dirty place your mind was a second ago based on your reaction." She sighed as Maura settled again. "The Love Boat I'm talking about was a sitcom. My mother loved it. It was about this off beat crew on this cruise ship and there was always some sort of romantic comedy with the passengers or the crew." Jane yawned. "I'll find it on Netflix or something and show you."

Maura watched the lights of the cruise ship grow smaller. "We should go on a cruise."

Jane snorted. "Great, you want to go hook up at sea?" Maura looked up in question, but Jane didn't notice before she continued. "I can just see it now. I'll spend my time drinking alone on the lido deck of the Love Boat while you go have your way with a pool boy or something."

Maura slapped Jane's thigh and ignored the grumbling protest. "You deserved that. I said want to go on a cruise with you. That means I want your company."

Jane rubbed her thigh. "That hurt. But okay, we can go on a cruise someday if it will make you happy."

Maura couldn't hold back a yawn and slid down to lean her head against Jane's shoulder. The cruise ship was almost out of sight, headed for open water. "Good. It will make me happy. Now that we have that settled we should probably start back, it's late." She held up her watch.

Jane didn't answer right away.

The water continued to play against the boardwalk and the lights of Charlestown reflected against the moving surface.

Jane looked at the top of Maura's head. Despite her words she hadn't moved to leave. It was peaceful. "If we take a cab back we could stay five more minutes?"

Maura nodded slowly. "If we take a cab we could stay at least 10 more minutes."

Jane couldn't find the cruise ship anymore. "Okay cab it is."

Maura let out a soft sigh. "Agreed."


End file.
